So I turned on the TV tonight to watch the baseball game between Atlanta and Washington. I was really looking forward to some baseball; it’s been a long offseason.

But what do I see when I turn on ESPN but George W. Bush’s smug face, doing his whole “look, I’m a folksy guy who just loves baseball” thing while Joe Morgan and Jon Miller laughed at his lame non-jokes and tried to pretend they were comfortable despite the fifty Secret Service agents packed into the broadcast booth (yet somehow outside the camera frame).

“Oh, and did I mention I used to own a baseball team?” “Oh yes, ha ha ha, you’re such a regular guy like us.” “And how about the job I did on the economy? It takes a special kind of person to totally destroy the dollar in less than eight years.” “Oh yes sir, quite excellent. Ho ho ho. Now let’s talk about how many feet above the strike zone your opening pitch was.”


Also, apparently his father (the Bush with two middle initials) was at the Texas/Memphis game today. As soon as I saw him posing with a herd of giggling female Texas students I knew Jesus was not going to let Texas win that game.

I just want these people to leave me alone and let me enjoy my distractions from reality in peace. Is that too much to ask? Really?